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NOTES

We’ve Got Issues
“Boundary Issues”
Carl Nichols

Romans 12:1–2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Marriage without boundaries always conforms to culture.

Boundaries are not rejection; they are protection.

If we don’t define boundaries intentionally, culture will define them accidentally.

Six places marriages often fail:
1. IN-LAW BOUNDARIES

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to (cleave to) his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Leave: ʿāzab
Meaning: to leave, forsake, abandon, loosen, release

Cling: dābaq
Meaning: to cling, stick, adhere, bond tightly

You don’t add a spouse to your life, you reorder your life around covenant.

You cannot properly cleave if you don’t fully leave.

2. WORK & TIME BOUNDARIES

Ephesians 5:15–16
Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Healthy marriages aren’t built on spare time,  they’re built on intentional time.

Intimacy doesn’t grow on leftover time and leftover energy.

3. DIGITAL & ELECTRONIC BOUNDARIES

Some couples don’t have communication issues, they have notification issues.

4. EMOTIONAL & OPPOSITE-SEX BOUNDARIES

The Bible’s strategy for purity is not just resisting sin, but removing the pathways that lead to it.

Healthy marriages guard:

  • Emotional Access

  • Vulnerable Conversations

  • Relational Closeness

  • The Appearance of Evil

5. FINANCIAL BOUNDARIES

Luke 16:10
(Jesus) “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

Money is rarely about math; it’s about trust.

6. SEXUAL BOUNDARIES

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Matthew 5:27-30
(Jesus) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”


Boundaries don’t limit love, they protect it.